It's an interesting place to find oneself... staring face to face with the authentic you. I've had the rare but precious privilege of taking some time to evaluate my life (past and present) and to ask myself, "Where has life taken me and what does the future hold?"
There is a huge part of me that wants to remain hidden from the world around me. So much of my journey has been a quest to remain invisible. I love simple, quiet living and that will never change... yet, there are a number of experiences in my life that I no longer want to remain silent about. God has carried me along a rugged path. It has been a wonderful and strenuous journey that has afforded the opportunity to relate to a variety of women, from every walk of life. It's been a path with beautiful struggles that encompass: never dating (or even having a boyfriend) through high school and college, singleness, loneliness, body image issues, childhood and adult obesity, food addiction, experiencing every fad diet known to man, infertility, multiple child loss, failed adoption, backing out of an adoption, fear of success (mixed with feelings of self-doubt and insecurity) that have kept me bound for years.
God is teaching me that I've walked this journey for my good and His glory. Whenever I quiet myself with the Word of God, I still feel Him prompting me to use the voice He gave me. He gave me a desire (to strengthen unsure women to live confidently, as they fall in love with Jesus) whenever I was in college. Through the process of this journey, I think it's about time to obey Him.
I'm finding the words of Dietrich Bonhoeffer to be true in my own life, "God's call had everything to do with living one's life in obedience... through action. It did not merely require a mind, but a body too. It was God's call to be fully human, to live as human beings obedient to the one who made us, which was the fulfillment of our destiny. It was not a cramped, compromised, circumspect life, but a life lived in a kind of wild, joyful, full-throated freedom - that was what it was to obey God." Please God, give me this type of obedience!
