Our journey has not physically changed much since this summer but I find myself more and more at peace with the thought of never having children. The Bible tells us that the Lord will give us the desires of our hearts. I know that He will - because He says He will - but I honestly think that He changes our desires to line up with His will. I often wonder if He is changing my heart in order to show me HIS will for this aspect of our lives.
It's interesting to walk this road because I never would have dreamed that I would be "okay" without children. But the more I move along and the longer the journey goes - I see my heart changing... I see my thoughts changing... I see God moving me in a completely different direction.
I wish I could know what we are doing, but I don't. I guess I just take it day by day and enjoy each day! I am so blessed with a godly husband that is truly my best friend... we've been hiking and camping... I ran my first 5k... we celebrated 9 years of marriage... we are making plans to sell our house this spring... God is moving us along and we are enjoying each other and we are enjoying Him.
I ask that you will pray for me this year in regard to my job, my ministry, my role in our family (with or without children). I know that He wanted me to step out of some ministries this year and focus on the simple things in life. Everything I read in His word and studied last fall and summer kept pointing to the same thing. I kept hearing God say that I need to slow down and do the simple things that He has called me to do and do them well.
I will be honest - it's been difficult. I find that I like doing "visible" things for the Lord and it's far more difficult to {just} set at His feet in obedience. Please pray that this year will not be wasted and that He will give me clear direction to my calling. I want to live a life that is beneficial to eternity. I want my life to count.
